Speaking candidly on issues of the heart, mind and soul!
I think I’ve gotten to the point of exhaustion with people wanting me to keep my peace when they have added on to the memories of my scars, and having created new monsters that will surface at the sign of another transgression.
My past is half filled with a bag of bad tricks and my present contains unnecessary evils for which I am working towards making correction. It is NOT an excuse for the current over protection of my mind, heart and soul, but It is very much a reality for which no one is authorized to diagnose me as being cured from the pain, anger and anxiety that comes from all of it. I have to fight against it every single freakin day and prayerfully hoping that it heals.
If people would handle their own demons and put away the knives they are using to reopen closed wounds of others, many of us may just be able to really love again, trust again and relax our minds to the point of amnesia to the past. But nooooo. They just keep adding to it and then have the nerve to wonder why………you do, say or react to this or that.
I know for me…. I’ve got a lot on my mind. I don’t want to always talk. I don’t want to always be around people, I need to be able to hear NOTHING at times and I also don’t want to keep anything else inside of me if something is going to potentially hurt me. That is what got me to this place…..in the first place.
Instead of thinking of me as mean, indifferent, non affectionate and even aloof at times, you should look inward and clean out SELF. you’ve got a legion of demons that have been using you as a tool for years. They don’t like me because I’ve been calling them out.